| Happy 2000 |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|05:43 pm] |
It is my 2000th entry apparently and quite a happy one.
Poor CEB, it is not his fault that he did not get the reaction he expected when he unveiled his plans. I went into a spin, there are a lot of reasons for this and it is going to take some time to work them out. My main thing to remember is CEB is NOT Frog, he won't do the things he did, hopefully. The ripples and waves from my marriage are going to affect my personal relationships for a long time, that is something we are very aware of. (I need to sit down and explain this to my family.) More so with my reaction to his news that caught us both by surprise. After a long conversation, talking about time lines, worries and expectations here is the news.
CEB is coming to visit, hopefully a long extended visit. The reason for the visit is to get to know me a little better than hour chats on Skype. It is a testing visit. Just to see little old me. ME!
I am excited but am not bouncing around like a loon, this cat has been kicked too many times for that, I have promised that i will when he has booked his ticket. Which he intends to do in the next few months. There is a little mort doing a large happy dance inside my head. I have a smug smile and at the moment ignoring the knot in my stomach.
We are not calling this a relationship for a number of reasons, mainly because I am not quite comfy with that with both of us on different sides of the world. Also is means we are both free agents if something tasty comes past. I have an ongoing arrangement that is working for the three of us, that will stop when CEB arrives if not before. I need time, to get sorted in my head and comfortable the person I am and reclaim the bits I lost and learn to ignore the negative things that I still hear repeated to me. In short repair myself. A wise pink haired woman suggested CEB could be worried, CEB was worried about one thing, but he has a lot of work to do to hurt me more than this year has hurt me.
So 2009 might have a tiny silver lining, which is good considering it has been the most horrible year ever, for me.
I have been told 2010 is going to be "awesome", considering how excited CEB was I can not really help but to agree and grin. |
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| Plato and the Cardinal Virtues |
[Dec. 29th, 2009|02:50 pm] |
This time of year I spend a lot of time curled up in my bed in the fetal position, laid low by a depression which neither drugs nor exercise nor any amount of “positive thinking” can cure. It's not so bad that I can't be roused to action or go to work, but if I don't spend at least some time chilling out I get very irritable indeed. I learned long ago not to wallow in swamp of despair and self-loathing, so instead I think about things that interest me. This gives me a huge backlog of “stuff for the livejournal”.
Towards a glossary of Christian terms, including “faith”, I find myself reflecting on the three Christian or “theological” virtues (faith, hope and love) and on tables of virtues in general. Since most accounts of the Christian virtues are either preceded or supplemented by an account of the four (Hellenic) “cardinal” virtues (temperance, fortitude, wisdom and justice) I will start with original source of those: Plato's Republic.
( Read More... ) |
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| Squeeeeee! |
[Dec. 29th, 2009|11:57 am] |
more to come later when i confirm the slightly cryptic CEB christmas card but squeeeee! |
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| Towards a Glossary of Christian terms |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|10:51 am] |
As I contemplate the complete repudiation of politically-correct toys in my household this year (the boys are running around with variety of Nerf armaments, ranging from swords to machine pistols to a fully automatic "Vulcan" machine gun which, aside from its garish colors and sponge ammo, looks like something a Hollywood action hero might heft, complete with ammo belt and large carrying handle) my thoughts turn to writing a rationalist's glossary of common religious terms.
One of the biggest impediments to rational discussion of religion is the tendency of believers to speak in a self-referential and tautological "code" of religious terms. It's one thing to say that, ultimately, religion involves things which are articles of "faith". It's quite another to quite another to digsuise a lot of pseudo-religious opinion-mongering and unabashed speculation in a thick haze of vague words which mean one thing to the speaker and quite another to just about everyone else. To take my favorite extreme example, "God hates fags": maybe your "God" does Mr. Phelps, but I don't think anyone else's does. Even his political allies on the issue of "fags" are quick to correct him: "God" hates the "sin", not the "sinner".
I'm a "believer" in the limited sense that I think the Christian message, the "Gospel", is by the far the most appropriate way of life and political attitude, with or without all the theological and cultural baggage that has attached itself to the Gospel. I subscribe to the Christian table of virtues ("faith", "hope" and "charity") above any personal ethic of self-aggrandizement (making virtues of strength, power, or wealth) or even virtues with some social utility, such as valor, honor, diligence or honesty.
Clearly, though, if I am to discuss this with anyone outside the extremely limited circle of people who are not only Christian but my kind of Christian (basically, educated liberal Christians) I will need to define all these terms (Gospel, faith, hope, charity, prayer, love and of course, God) divergently instead of convergently. While it makes perfect, concise sense to me to say "faith is trust in God" referring back to God in the definition raises more questions than it answers, even for people with their own working definitions and cultural referents for "God", let alone people who have no idea what that word really means.
So, to begin: "God"
( Read More... ) |
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| 13/52 Christmas Dinner |
[Dec. 25th, 2009|10:24 pm] |
Merry Christmas, I think most of the world is in Christmas now.
I have has a lovely couple of days. Yesterday was my family all together at my brothers. Today, Joyce, Arnie and I had lunch in a restaurant with a buffet style meal. I think Arnie ate 2 dozen oysters and I don't need to eat for a year. It has been lovely. Tomorrow off to catch up with Jack and Tracey.
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| The Reason for the Season? |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|08:58 am] |
Is Jesus "the Reason for the Season"? Nonsense. The reason for the season is the earth's axial tilt. At latitudes closer the the poles, this causes the pattern of seasonal weather variation and the shortening and lengthening of days on a yearly cycle. With the advent of agriculture this pattern was observed with some precision, and since Neolithic times it has been celebrated and mythologized. Wine and beer produced following the harvest had time to ferment and become drinkable, cattle were slaughtered to reduce the amount of feed necessary during the winter months, and especially at extreme northern latitudes, a festival atmosphere could help combat the depressive symptoms of seasonal affective disorder.
The utility and popularity of these celebrations has allowed them to survive despite Christian efforts to suppress them or appropriate them.
( Read More... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|03:08 pm] |
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I have eaten too much. I have new sheets for my yet to be purchased bed. The kids are happy with their presents. Parent units have a Wii. |
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| Merry Christmas |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|12:24 pm] |
the parental units are here, I have a very silly hat, there is a huge pile presents under the tree. The boys are excited and the house smells of roasted Turkey.
Merry Christmas all.
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| In which I am reminded of important lessons |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|10:28 am] |
At five this morning I donned a track suit and watch cap and moved out into the chilly wind to remind myself of some painful lessons. Leaning into the wind, my lungs bucking inside my ribs, I wondered briefly, to the transcendent lyrics of Steppenwulf, why these were lessons I felt it necessary to forget, only to painfully relearn every few years.
- The US Army medically discharged me for a reason.
- Jogging is very hard on the knees, especially if you have crippled knees.
- 1.8 miles on the road is a lot longer, and harder, than 2.6 miles on the elliptical machine.
- I ain't getting any younger.
With any luck, I'll be able to remember this the next I think I can return to running, something I used to be good at... 20 years ago. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|10:06 am] |
Job market is really slow, I am really worried. I am hoping it picks up in the new year. I am thinking of applying for a job in Brisbane, that is how desperate I am. I suspect Brisbane weather may kill me though. (It is tropical weather)
I need a job to get on my feet, living with MJ and Nat is not an ideal solution.
Also, people in Melbourne what are your plans for New Years? |
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| The Life of the Spider |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|05:23 am] |
It is 5am and I am awake! This post is mostly a distraction for me and an effort to slow me to sleep, but I think it contains some loveliness for you as well.
The used bookstore that had the awesome old pretty copy of Mill's logic also has some books by Jean-Henri Fabre, who was an entomologist I had never heard of (I don't think I have heard of any entomologists). They are pretty much the sweetest thing I have ever seen, because they are not sciencey particularly; instead they are darling, detailed stories about insects. My favourite title was Bramble-Bees and Others, but my favourite book is The Life of the Spider.
Here is a story about trying to capture a Tarantula:
Fortune at last smiles upon my patience, which has been heavily tried by all these prudent retreats and particularly by the fierce heat of the dog-days. A Spider suddenly rushes from her hole: she has been rendered warlike, doubtless, by prolonged abstinence. The tragedy that happens under the cover of the bottle lasts for but the twinkling of an eye. It is over: the sturdy Carpenter-bee is dead. Where did the murderess strike her? That is easily ascertained: the Tarantula has not let go; and her fangs are planted in the nape of the neck. The assassin has the knowledge which I suspected: she has made for the essentially vital centre, she has stung the insect’s cervical ganglia with her poison-fangs. In short, she has bitten the only point a lesion in which produces sudden death. I was delighted with this murderous skill, which made amends for the blistering which my skin received in the sun.
Here is an opinion about what a Spider is:
A Spider is not an insect, according to the rules of classification; and as such the Epeira seems out of place here. A fig for systems! It is immaterial to the student of instinct whether the animal have eight legs instead of six, or pulmonary sacs instead of air-tubes. Besides, the Araneida belong to the group of segmented animals, organized in sections placed end to end, a structure to which the terms ‘insect’ and ‘entomology’ both refer.
Formerly, to describe this group, people said ‘articulate animals,’ an expression which possessed the drawback of not jarring on the ear and of being understood by all. This is out of date. Nowadays, they use the euphonious term ‘Arthropoda.’ And to think that there are men who question the existence of progress! Infidels! Say, ‘articulate,’ first; then roll out, ‘Arthropoda;’ and you shall see whether zoological science is not progressing!
Here is a meditation on friendship with animals and truth:
Michelet has told us how, as a printer’s apprentice in a cellar, he established amicable relations with a Spider. At a certain hour of the day, a ray of sunlight would glint through the window of the gloomy workshop and light up the little compositor’s case. Then his eight-legged neighbour would come down from her web and take her share of the sunshine on the edge of the case. The boy did not interfere with her; he welcomed the trusting visitor as a friend and as a pleasant diversion from the long monotony. When we lack the society of our fellow-men, we take refuge in that of animals, without always losing by the change.
I do not, thank God, suffer from the melancholy of a cellar: my solitude is gay with light and verdure; I attend, whenever I please, the fields’ high festival, the Thrushes’ concert, the Crickets’ symphony; and yet my friendly commerce with the Spider is marked by an even greater devotion than the young typesetter’s. I admit her to the intimacy of my study, I make room for her among my books, I set her in the sun on my window-ledge, I visit her assiduously at her home, in the country. The object of our relations is not to create a means of escape from the petty worries of life, pin-pricks whereof I have my share like other men, a very large share, indeed; I propose to submit to the Spider a host of questions whereto, at times, she condescends to reply.
To what fair problems does not the habit of frequenting her give rise! To set them forth worthily, the marvellous art which the little printer was to acquire were not too much. One needs the pen of a Michelet; and I have but a rough, blunt pencil. Let us try, nevertheless: even when poorly clad, truth is still beautiful.
Anyway the entire thing is right here for free on the internet! It is pretty charming if you like Spiders. |
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| my weekend |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|11:45 pm] |
Snow Cook Wrap and Shovel plus Avatar and 2 failed attempt to go the closed gym
Snow 18 inches
Cook sugar cookies / fennel pollen edges shortbread / fudge by daughter in law / apple gallettes, beef carrot noodle soup / mamaliga / apple sauce and the start on apple jelly
Shovel tag teaming with 4 of us, 2 shovels and a snow blower that broke very early in the game followed by rock salt
Avatar I loved it minus the ick
Gym Stupid administrators I need to swim in a warm pool
Weekend ending with laptop in bed and a heating pad. mmm |
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| 12/52 Socks and Toes |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|11:21 pm] |
I am child minding for two nights. I possibly am insane.
my email is back. The website is back.
General catch up http://www.cjcurrie.com/wordpress/?p=950
Sydney http://www.cjcurrie.com/wordpress/?p=953
Monash called, I did not get the job, my gut was right. I have put on weight. I don't think I am depressed at the moment. Actually quite happy. I suspect my food self control is on the fritz. I am happy even though I porking up and don't have a job. I am single with irons in the fire and that is a comfortable place at the moment. as much as having a partner is appealing I still have to sort things out.
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| 51/52 Spin |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|03:42 pm] |
So, this is the best shot for 2009. Voted evenly with the protester it won on views and how I feel.
Visually I think it works really well, little explanation needed. The composition is good, the colours true. The movement and feel is good.
Oh, of course it makes me sad looking at it. It was my last Whitby although I did not know it at the time. I thought we had had a good time away and Frog enjoyed dressing up, I am now no longer sure if that is the case. The whole series makes me sad now as it was labelled as stalking by the subject and that gutted me. It was a series I was very proud of.
There are others in the selection that strike more of a cord on a personal level and I have others I have no published as well. The rings on is possibly with one that strikes the largest cord as a total description for 2009 but that is as a personal stand point not as photographer. It is also the reason you will not see a 2009 meme nor a decade meme from me.
I suppose a Frog photo is fitting with his impact on this year. 2009 has produced the most heart ache and personal loss I have experienced. I am ready to move onto 2010 with a little more light.
Gosh, that got more navel gazing than I predicted.
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| Health Insurance Reform: it's all good, unless you work for a health insurance company |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|08:23 am] |
Health insurance is about to become a tightly regulated form of insurance, and this is a very good thing, with or without any kind of "public option".
Allow me to illustrate by "length of policy". The length and number of exclusions and exceptions in an insurance contract reflects what the insurer thinks they can get away with. The more claims they can get away with not paying, the more exclusions and exceptions they stick in the policy. The shortest policies are issued in regulated types of insurance, and the shortest of all are in mandatory regulated insurance (workers compensation and motor vehicle insurance). Car insurance tends to be short: 12-20 pages depending on how they format it. Business liability insurance issued by an authorized, regulated insurer, by contrast, runs 50-100 pages (which actually makes sense because it covers a lot more situations). Business liability insurance issued by unauthorized, unregulated ("surplus lines") insurers on the other hand, tends to run to book length: 500 pages of exceptions and conditions and exclusions. That's the type of insurance you get if you operate a high-risk business (selling alcoholic beverages, for example) which typically no insurance company authorized to do business in your State will cover.
A typical health insurance policy, on the other hand, is like an entire library. Health insurance contracts negotiated by business, institutions and unions can't be bound under a single cover, but typically fill an entire shelf of binders. You, the consumer, typically never see these, you get an "explanation" or "summary" (which by itself can be monstrous). All of that is going to be history soon.
Now, of course, even motor vehicle insurers will try to cheat you. But they typically do it through claims adjusting (low-balling the amount of damages) and not by denying coverage. They can't pull tricks that are common in health insurance. They can't (legally) say: "you failed to disclose a pre-existing crack in your windshield therefore we aren't paying for your windshield". If they did that, and you sued, a judge would say "I don't care what your policy says: this is mandatory insurance and all property damage from a collision is covered." They can't require complicated and burdensome loss notice paperwork: you failed to present your card, and your doctor failed to fill out form X83/B, and you both failed to stand on your head and recite the Pledge of Allegience, therefore your dialysis isn't covered. Another advantage to this is that once health care providers are relieved of a lot of burdensome and non-uniform claims paperwork, it will be a lot easier to catch the ones who engage in fraud. Instead of "is this procedure on our list?" the question becomes "did you actually perform this procedure?" which is a much more important question for reducing costs.
The same goes for tricks like areas of coverage and provider networks and so forth. The only allowable exception in auto insurance I am aware of is driving in Mexico: they are allowed to exclude that. They can't refuse to pay because you went to your favorite body shop instead of their approved shop. They can't exclude driving at night, or in the rain, or crossing State lines. They can't exclude drunk driving. I can't think of another area of contract law where you can engage in risky, illegal conduct and still enforce the contract... but you can with mandatory "no fault" insurance.
(Incidently, my experience litigating motor vehicle coverage also makes doubt whether competition from a "public option" will really "keep insurers honest". The motor vehicle insurance industry is fiercely competitive, more so than any government-run insurance would ever be, and yet companies like Allstate still exist. Allstate is notorious among lawyers for having the most evil and dishonest claims practices in the industry).
Granted, the State and federal regulations which will take the place of privately negotiated contracts will be long. But they will not be written to deliberately deny benefits. As mandatory insurance, they will be interpreted in a court of law to give you the coverage which you paid for and which "public policy" now demands. Not only will some claims-denial tricks like "rescission" for "misrepresentation" be specifically outlawed, but many tricks not covered or anticipated in the current legislation will fail in court. Why? Because when you make insurance mandatory, it ceases being a private contract covered exclusively by the written policy and presumably negotiated in good faith by two parties with equal bargaining power, but becomes a matter of "public policy". "Public policy" in plain English means a reason for judges to write you coverage even if it isn't spelled out in your contract, and even if the written contract says "No", a judge can say "Yes".
I wonder if health insurance companies are ready for this. I'd bet that in company legal departments all over the country, lawyers are getting extremely frustrated trying to warn management that things are gonna change. What may happen is something similar to what happened in the mortgage-lending business: lots of people could foresee massive default and foreclosure problems looming, but companies like Countrywide just kept plugging away until they were destroyed, bankrupt, or purchased by another lender. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|12:30 am] |
Email is back, normal service has resumed. Website still down.
spoke too soon |
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